Friday, July 6, 2012

Review - Pinkie Pie's Hero

It was a toss-up between this, a Halo crossover or a sequel to a fic I've yet to read. So, what do we get? Shipping! 'Pinkie Pie's Hero', after the break. 
(Why is everypony always shipped with Rainbow Dash? This fandom is running out of ideas.)



Alright, the story I'll be reviewing today is 'Pinkie Pie's Hero' by Cloudy Skies, an author I am quite partial to. He and/or she can write quite well. However, you didn't come here to read me being nice. If you did, well, this sentence here should be warning enough. 

Indeed, this fic is all romantic and warm and fuzzy and all the other crap people tend to associate with love, but like you don't go to [location] to [activity], you don't come to me for a positive review. Let's take the plunge. 

Description: "Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie dress up as superheroes and head out to fight crime - or boredom. Same thing, really. When Pinkie Pie reveals that her favorite superhero is even cooler than Daring Do, trying to find an opportunity for heroics won't be the only thing gnawing on Rainbow's mind."

Pinkie, dressed as Mare-Do-Well, subtly seduces Rainbow Dash. I can draw a few parallels here to another well-known fic. Anyone else get my hint?

Plot: While Rainbow Dash is at Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie Pie invites her to go...'superheroing' with her, and Rainbow eagerly agrees. A little while later, Rainbow shows up on Pinkie's doorstep once again, dressed as her favorite hero, Daring Do. You're welcome, Twilight Sparkle. Anyway, Pinkie pops out of the window as, you guessed it astute observer, Mare-Do-Well. Rainbow questions this, and Pinkie replies with "Well, I thought you'd dress as my favourite hero today, so I went with my second favourite." The two proceed to 'superhero' all across Ponyville, from the library to Fluttershy's cottage, with little success. I'll stop there, because although the end of the plot should be glaring you in the face like you just insulted its mother, I still need to give you reason to read it.

Characters: You know what? The characters were portrayed quite well. Pinkie Pie is random, but only to the extent she's meant to be, not randomly swapping languages, shape-shifting and peering into the future like in other fics. She also makes a sly reference or two to the forth wall, in true Pinkie style. Rainbow is just as arrogant as ever, but not in a way that makes you want to bitch slap her. However, the both of them act a little strange in the end, out of character only in the slightest, but enough to be noticeable. Twilight is intellectual, and takes joy in things others would find tedious, like in the show. She even deadpans properly. Apple Bloom, with what little time we had with her, struggled with her math homework, and was confused when Rainbow and Pinkie tried to help. I could actually picture her saying. "Thanks! I guess.." Finally, Fluttershy is portrayed accurately as well. There's really nothing bad to say here, and coming from me? That in itself is an achievement. 

Spelling and Grammar: Ouch. 12 spelling herps and 6 grammatical derps. There is only one grammatically incorrect statement I like hearing, and that is 'biches'. The author has made mistakes...AND VE MUST CORRECT ZEM.
Spelling: Paragraph six, 'somesuch'. Space? Paragraph thirty-eight, 'Nevermind'. Space? Paragraph fifty-five, 'headbutted'. SPAAAAAACE! Paragraph sixty-three, 'Starswirl'. That would be 'Star Swirl'. Paragraph ninety-three, 'farmpony's'. The spacebar seems to have abandoned ship here. Heh. Ship. Paragraph ninety-six, 'But but,'. You either need to put a comma in there, or remove one of the buts. Paragraph 127, 'souffle'. This will seem really nit-picky, but it's 'soufflé'. Paragraph 128, 'hindleg'. You need a space. Again. Paragraph 134, 'Dask'. Pfffffhahahaha! I'm sorry, whom? Paragraph 151, 'loudwhoop'. Look, you and the spacebar need to put aside your differences and make this work. Author's notes, 'whatever.Whiteout'. Oh, come on! These are the authors notes! Author's notes, 'more'n'. That abbreviation doesn't work. Don't try to make them up. 
Grammar: Paragraph six, '.'. That full stop should be an ellipse. Paragraph eleven, 'half truth'. You need to put a hyphen in there. Stitch them together like the Human Centipede. Paragraph thirty-seven, ','. That comma should be a semi-colon. Don't pull a Shukumei and tell me they're evil. Paragraph fifty-six, 'both conveniently enough far away from here.' Either put in a comma after 'enough' and 'both' or, preferably, swap 'enough' and 'far'. You could even remove 'enough' from the sentence entirely. Paragraph 140, 'every'. That 'y' is a Spy! Paragraph 146, 'lets'. You're missing an apostrophe there, partner.  

I don't use online spellcheckers, I check these fics myself, so don't accuse me of being lazy. Also, if I missed something, well you can't blame me for a simple mistake. I'm only human. [read: hypocrite] 

Execution: Up until the very end, the story had almost perfect pacing. It wasn't too quick, but it didn't drag on. However, at the very end when Dash reveals how she feels to Pinkie, it sort of feels as if the author rushed to get that part over and done with, as if they despise shipping as much as our dear Darcy does. Not that he'd be caught writing shipping, but I believe my point has been made. 

In Conclusion: I still don't recommend it, but as always, I never recommend anything, so this fic is no different. Overall, it's an okay piece of writing, but like the language in Zero Wing, it seems off somehow. Anyway, it's pretty ordinary, and for that I give it a 5.5/10.

So, there you have it. Another review by moi. If you don't understand any of the references I used, I pity you, read my other reviews. [read: shameless self promotion]


This is ChrisTheCat, signing off.                

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