Saturday, May 19, 2012

Review - Let's See How Bad I Can Make This Fanfic

I'm pumping these reviews out faster than the Heavy pumps out bullets. 'Let's See How Bad I Can Make This Fanfic', after the break!

(I've got the weirdest wingboner right now...)

Alright, the story I’ll be reviewing today is 'Let's See How Bad I Can Make This Fanfic' by Troll, a fic that was posted on the 19th of May and has done the exact opposite of what was intended. At time of posting, it has 84 downvotes, but 460 upvotes. The problem here is that I'm not sure as to if the author thinks this is good or not.

The story is downright retarded, but it's done like that on purpose. The plot (if one can call it that) is godawful, but that's exactly the intention. The characters are...yeah, you can see where this is going. It's an odd little contradiction of a fic and it has its moments, but like you don't go to Uganda for a child daycare centre, you don't come to me for a positive review. Let's do this.

Description: I've successfully created the worst fanfic ever.  It's beautiful.  I took everything that everybody hates about fanfiction and put it into a fic in an attempt to elicit all of your hate. Summary:  A young man is telepoted to Equestria where he meets all of the ponies that he knows and loves.

Well, you have a royally f@#!ed definition of beauty mate. Though I have to admit it's nice to find another follower of Rule 19. 

Plot: GARY STU is a brony who literally falls into Equestria due to a rip in the space-time continuum. From there, he goes around purposely trying to entice hate from the readers, becoming and alicorn, visiting Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, (the latter of which is anthropomorphic, because why not?) and then proceeds to go to Canterlot and turn Celestia into a banana okay what the holy hellf@#! is this? 

Characters: GARY STU is the single most retarded character I've ever seen, and I've seen Rain Man. Of course, there is no room for character development here so instead he bombs around Ponyville, Cloudsdale and Canterlot, dumping on things and causing rage aneurysms from the readers. I know that this is how it's meant to be, but come on! None of the other characters get much development because they are all victims of the script.

Spelling and grammar: The one thing the author said he would actually do right, which he didn't. 5 spelling errors and 10 grammatical errors, not counting those done on purpose (because this story didn't have enough cock-ups). Let's begin counter-trolling, shall we?
*ahem ahem* For spelling, There is no capital D in 'Cloudsdale', 'bananan's' needs to lose the last 'n', 'lazer' is spelled with an 's' and not a 'z', 'Applebuckin' either needs a 'g' or an apostrophe, and finally 'accidentely' needs to lose the second 'e'.
For grammar, the first "Until..." should not be a sentence on its own, and neither should "And was sky blue." "Hows THAT for eliciting hate?" How's. There are four instances where the author forgets that there is a giant button at the bottom of the keyboard called SPACEBAR. "And had plenty of potassium for a healthy diet" should not be a sentence on its own either, and that goes for "And Restricted" later on. Finally, in the second to last paragraph the author says "it's" instead of "its".

That felt gooooooooood.

Execution: Immediately.

Enjoyable: Personally, I haven't the foggiest how this made it into the Featured Box. I mean for the love of all that is even mildly sacred, it is literally everything people hate in pony fanfiction. Poor shipping, poor HiE, human-turned-alicorn, the list is longer than the dislike bar on Rebecca Black's 'Friday'. Yet, it got featured. How? How, goddammit? If what I just said didn't tip you off, then no I didn't enjoy it. 

In Conclusion: This story did its job. It is the single worst thing I have ever read, ever. No, seriously. R.L. Stine could take lessons from this story. Troll, I applaud you. You have created something worse than R.L. Stine. It's f@#!ing terrible, it truly is. I do NOT recommend it (I never recommend stories, but still). An analogy: This is the kind of story where, if it tried to hang itself and survived, I wouldn't know whether to leave it there to suffocate or pull on its legs to speed things along.

And it's only now that I realise this is the exact reaction the author was looking for. Complete and total hate. I...I'm confused. This is not meant to be a nice review, and yet I think it may be taken as one, at least by the author. I don't know how to feel right now. 

F@#! it, I'm having a lie-down. Read it yourself, and see whether you despise it on a cellular level like I do.

This has been ChrisTheCat, signing off.


  1. I have to say I laughed more than I should have at 'Execution: Immediately' XD I like you already!

    1. *gasp* You didn't like me the minute you met me? Blasphemy!
      Really though, thanks for the vote of confidence.

  2. Honestly, I found its awfulness more tiresome. At this point there are just so many stories that are successfully terrible, or successfully entertaining because they are terrible, for this story to even illicit a response.