Saturday, May 19, 2012

Review - A Game of Hearts (Reprise by AxeOfChaos)

Hello all! Yes, I still exist, I just like TF2 is all! I have decided to do a reprisal of Darcy's 'A Game of Hearts' review he did, as he did mention that maybe someone who wasn't biased against shipping might give it a better review. So here I am. Review after the break

I'd have to say I go with Darcy on this one... As much as I USUALLY enjoy shipping... This one was just... off.

I won't bother you with the story, as you can find that in Darcy's post, I will just get straight into it.

The cast is not very large in this, containing RD, Fluttershy, Scootaloo and 2 others, Skyfire and Rorschach (I think that is how you spell it, I don't really care anyway, so this is how I will spell it). They haven't been done that well I have to say... RD is a little TOO egotistical for what I am used to, she is my favorite pony and seeing her cast in THIS much of an egotistical light has me a bit shaken... Fluttershy isn't too hard to do, she just has to be... shy... Scootaloo is about as annoying as ever, so that was done right, but RD was the one that bugged me...

She has a big ego, we all know that, but having a big enough ego to randomly do a Sonic Rainboom, *for the lulz* is a bit much... Considering she couldn't do it until half-way through season 1... Her profile is varied, with some points her ego is the size of a small planet, and other times she is much closer to Fluttershy... It was hard to follow. Her changes from massive ego to Flutter-coward went from one to the other in a flash, making the story hard to follow and a bit unbelieveable...

The plot also hasn't been done well I have to say either... I mean the fact they have a CENSUS for athletics is a bit far off, and the fact it hasn't been done in anything else makes it a bit far off. The definition of census is an official count or survey of a population, typically recording various details of individuals. Nothing in that definition fits in with the story, it isn't a count, ponies don't even need to take part. It only records 1 detail of the small amount tested, what their flying speed is, and it is followed with a test... That would better be described as more like the thing from Rainbow Factory at the start. It is a test, or maybe a voluntary brief of how well a pegasus can fly, it makes no sense...

It is also very boring, with WAY too many paragraphs. They are 1 sentence, at most 2, long, meaning there are up to 10 paragraphs on the page at any one time. This makes it difficult to read, jittery, and all round, not well written. The story contains too much emphasis, with the writer dwelling on one subject for many lines, when it only really needs a brief insert. The main points are skipped and the boring, useless points are dragged on, meaning you spend a lot of time reading useless information, waiting for something funny or interesting to happen, only to be bombarded with another useless point divided up into 20 paragraphs. It was frustrating, I almost quit reading it half-way through, but I soldiered on in the hope it might get better, which it never did.

My Opinion:
I think this is the worst fan-fic I have read, with little actual story, unbelievable characters and plot and tied together with terrible writing, I give this fan-fic 4/10 egotistical colts, with a recommendation of you NOT reading it. This fan-fic I am sorry to say, has almost put me off shipping, which it actually contained very little of. If you do have the urge to read this, hit up Darcy's post to find the links.

I leave you with a quote,

As usual, goodness hardly puts up a fight. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

The goodness in the shipping world that is... I just hope I can find a better fic to read now...

AxeOfChaos Out


  1. My, we're all being rather negative this week, aren't we? I'll just have to do better next time.

  2. Wow, the worst you've ever read? Ha! You've yet to read my work, fellow admin.

  3. I know YOU think that. Let's see what HE thinks.

    Also, you're right. My work is just that. Alright. Nothing more, and pales in comparison to the works of, say, AbsoluteAnonymous or JasonTheHuman or you.

    1. I haven't read any of your stuff, but give me a link and I will happily read it and give it a review on the site :D

    2. I already reviewed one, and i preread the other, so i'd be biased to review it.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Sorry, grammatical error on the previous post, I was just saying that most fics I read are from big name authors or very talented ones, I usually pick them rather well... So to be fair, this might be an ALRIGHT fiction, but it is the worst one I have read. So if you wish to read it, go right ahead, but from my view, it wasn't too great.

    1. Oh, I read it. It'

      Le links to my work.
      Christian and Geo in Equestria:

      Medicshy proofread Brains!, but CaGiE has had zero proofreading, even from me. Spelling and grammatical errors all around.
      Also Medicshy reviewed CaGiE already. There's no need to review it again.

    2. Wow... Brains is long... I will get around to reading it at some point. XD

      I guess 1 for 1, here's my fic I have been writing, hit a block and haven't written in a while, so any criticism or ideas would be VERY appreciated

      Have fun with it XD

  6. This is Corvus.

    As I said in my response to the other review: Game of Hearts was admittedly rushed and poorly edited. I meant for it to be much more than what it became.

    Once finals are over and all my term papers are turned in, I'll try my damnedest to make Game of Hearts into something enjoyable.