My very first review. Run for the hills, children! “Pinkie Pie learns a new word”, after the break!
(I'm not sure whether that wink is playful or suggestive. For the hell of it, let's go with the latter.)
Alright, the story I’ll be reviewing today is 'Pinkie Pie learns a new word' by Kickass222urmom (flattering username, really), a story that has surged in popularity since it was posted on FiMFiction a few days ago, maintaining the first spot on the Featured list for the whole time. It’s a part of the recent trend of ‘Ponies learning bad words’ stories that seem to be all the range for some unfathomable reason. Maybe the appeal is in how unnatural it is to imagine one of the Mane Six cursing their little heads off, maybe it's just funny to hear a pony, the very epitome of innocence, saying f@*# repeatedly. I personally don’t know.
I could go into how much I enjoyed the freak occurrences that Pinkie caused around Ponyville, or how clever it was to make the f-word mean literally anything, and for Pinkie use it accordingly. I could even go on about how the ending makes one think “Oh, this won’t end well” in a light-hearted manner. But like you don’t go to a sewage treatment plan to do your interior decorating, you don’t come to me for a positive review. So let’s get this little tumbleweed of negativity rolling, shall we?
Description: Pinkie Pie learns a new word that starts with 'F' and ends with 'K'. No, it's not firetruck. How will she use this new word? Let's find out.
I only predict good things from here. What could possibly go wrong? For the answer to that question we need only turn to Murphy's Law.
Plot: When Pinkie messes up an order from one of her customers from Appleloosa, the foul-mouthed pony begins to curse repeatedly, until Pinkie finally asks what the f-word means. He responds “Listen, it's just a word we commonly use in Appleloosa. As fer the meaning, it means whatever ya want Ah guess.” Our favourite party pony, in her innocence, actually takes these words to heart and begins to use the F-bomb as a replacement for almost everything. I won’t spoil it further, but I’ll only say this: there is no sentence that can properly use the ‘f-word’ and ‘baby’ together without being horribly vulgar.
Characters: Pinkie is actually portrayed somewhat decently in this fic, as opposed to many other stories on FiMFiction I’ve stumbled upon. Now, when I say decently, I don’t necessarily mean well. She seems a little too hyperactive, a little too cheery. I’ll admit that it’s hard to write Pinkie properly, and anyone who can is either a writing genius, or on the MLP: FiM writing staff. The other major characters don’t really get much time to study how well they were written, as they only have a few lines each to themselves. Frankly, that’s a tad disappointing as I’d have liked to get to know exactly how they would have reacted in the long term, not just the short term. I’d have liked to have seen more than “Hiya Twilight! F@*#! Bye!” 
Spelling and grammar: A grand total of 8 grammatical errors, the vast majority of which were in the first half, not counting the Appleloosen stallion’s accent, but there were no spelling errors that weren’t actually placed there intentionally. Now I like it when stories are grammatically accurate before I read them, which is hypocritical because like an idiot, I don’t proofread mine.
Execution: “Pinkie learns a new word” is supposed to be a comedy, and granted, it does have its moments. However, it mostly relies on shock humor, and not actual comedy. I’ll be the first to admit that I laughed my arse off when I read it through the first time, but when I went back to it to actually review it, I asked myself…
Why was it funny? There was no subtle humor, just a plethora of cringe-worthy moments that make you laugh more out of surprise than actual enjoyment. I also found that it was completely unenjoyable the second time around, taking the [PROTOTYPE] approach. Sure, I did laugh, but it left me questioning what exactly was funny about it afterwards, which isn’t really something I should be doing. I should know why I laughed, not be completely bamboozled like I was just memory-wiped by the goddamn Men In Black.
Something else I noted was that it was somewhat repetitive. Pinkie finds a pony, Pinkie shocks the pony with the f-word unintentionally, and Pinkie buggers off to do the exact same thing to her next unsuspecting victim. People usually only enjoy repetition in longer stories, when it isn’t very noticeable, or unless it’s poetic. Or maybe that’s just me.
Enjoyable: Even with all of the negative spins I’ve put on this story, it is actually alright. I mean, how do you manage to stay in first position on the Featured list without people liking you? The masses enjoy it, so don’t let this little block of words dissuade you from reading at all. Use your own brains and develop your own opinions on the text, and don’t just take my word as law.
In Conclusion: A rating out of 10? Meh, I’d give it a 6, maybe a 6.5 or 7 if I’m feeling generous. Which I’m not. So 6/10 it is.
I personally feel that this is a funny story which much re-reading value, if you’re five. I can’t really recommend the story because of my own personal bias, but give it a shot anyway. Maybe you too will end up giggling like a kindergartner who heard the word ‘f@*#’ for the first time. If that’s your cup of tea, then go right ahead. But for me? I’ll stay right here, and wait for the hate mail. Rule 19 of the Internet, people, "The more you hate it, the stronger it becomes".
This has been ChrisTheCat, signing off.